most people stop right before they hit it big

You hear it all the time, right?

Like Chrissy Metz, from This Is Us. She had 70 cents left in her bank account when she auditioned for her starring role and SHE GOT THE JOB!

Most people hit it big years and years after they put in the work, the time, the sacrifice.

I don’t like reading about the one year wonders…”In the first 90 days of my business, I hit $1 million dollars.” It’s so discouraging and I’d bet my right foot it’s not true.

As I was planning out the next 90 days of my biz, I started thinking about a time in college when I was going to teach a dance class.

I was so scared.

I took this Cardio Groove dance class twice a week for almost two years before the instructor suggested I start teaching it.

First of all, she was like an expert dancer in my eyes, so the fact that she thought I could fill her shoes left my jaw dropped to the floor.

I didn’t think twice about accepting. HELL YA. I got to work.

I started practicing and teaching my friends, which ended in hysterical laughter because how the hell do you 8 – count?

My background was in gymnastics and cheer and it always took me three times as long to learn dances with counts, than 90% of the team.

But I accepted the challenge….kind of…

The day before my audition, I went out (I was in college).

Not the smartest thing to do.

I drank too much and ended up breaking my ankle and foot.

Easy excuse – no audition.

I think the broken foot thing happened because of fear.

I was so freakin’ scared about auditioning and subconsciously I was trying to get out of it, so I ended up “getting out of it.”

Definitely would’ve been easier to say, I’m not ready. But that’s not my style, so instead I had to break my foot.

I’ll never know what could’ve happened had I not gone out, had I practiced until I was confident I could do it, had I told her I needed more time or more guidance to teach the class while counting, etc. etc. etc.

Here’s what I do know…

We never know how anything is going to turn out unless we do it.

Unless we take off the life jacket and fuckin’ sink or swim.

Little secret…

No one sinks.

We might tread water or go in a little too deep, but we breast stroke to the other side. Sure, with some panting and wheezing but WE MAKE IT.

Tenacity.
Persistence.
Drive.
Passion.
Integrity.
Commitment.
Purpose.


If you’re reading this, You possess those qualities, J?

YES YOU DO!

We never really know, do we J? Unless we try.

So stop wasting your damn time and shatter your doubts in the Break Free Mastermind and learn how to shine on the Activate Your Gifts Retreat.

There is a place where you fit in. TRUST. Don’t do the ‘maybe’ thing, do the “I WAS READY YESTERDAY AND I’M JUST GOING TO DO IT.”

Apply here to book your breakthrough session with me.

I’ll be here, J. I see your bright ass future and you talkin’ about every great thing that happened to you in year 2019. Do you?
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” – Jordan Belfort

What it’s like being a successful female biz owner with diagnosed ADD + ADHD

Ladies…

It is no easy task, to stay on task. RIGHT!?

I didn’t know how much harder and yet easier things would get after having a kid.

On one hand, your schedule is not your own. You are a slave to your house during nap time and your previous life of just leaving on a whim, disappears.

On the other hand, you learn how to get 1,200 things done in less than that two hour nap time.

I’m actually writing during his nap time right now and I have a list of like 10 tasks I need to finish for my business, but I thrive under pressure and they don’t need to be done for four days.

Let me share with you the task list of a successful biz owner with no team (yet).

  • Creating PowerPoints for Break Free Mastermind training.
  • Writing a book
  • Finishing a product so my graphic designer can start creating the look
  • paying Costco, Amazon and regular credit card
  • Enrolling early birds into the Activate your Gifts Retreat (the planning process hasn’t even begun yet and we’re less than 3 months away)
  • Sending session notes to private clients
  • Creating a 5 day challenge with free guides and an opt in page
  • Sending welcome letters to retreaters
  • Trying to figure out what I can automate
  • Social media for my second Instagram account “In My Sweats” named after my podcast
  • Recording a new podcast

I told my Fearful to Fit Fam that I’d be taking them on the journey with me. I wanted to show more behind the scenes of the unglam life of owning a biz and really doing 20% coaching and 80% biz.

In the last three years I went from $1,000 – $3,000 per month and now I’m averaging over $14,000 per month.

This is why I’m letting you in on the not so pretty. The 12-14 hour work days and why I wouldn’t want to do anything else, but this.

So, what’s it like owning a biz with two learning disabilities?

I use them to fire me up.

Having ADD and ADHD means I can do A LOT at one time. Like a scatter brained mongoose on the loose. She’s crossing her t’s and dotting her i’s but it’s more of a round about way then the rest of them.

I finish everything I start.

That wasn’t the case a few years ago. It’s a muscle I’ve had to grow and it pays off immensely.

I’m also more committed to plans than I ever have been.

Another muscle.

I’m a deep feeler, like so many of us ADD women.

And when I don’t feel my peppiest, I don’t want to be around people.

If I’m already zapped, I don’t want to be more zapped.

BUT if I constantly go with my feelings, I’d never leave the house!

So, I’m pretty good now…***instantly flashed to my toddler not sleeping and me canceling all my plans.***

Here are the best ways I know how to cope with a very active, excited mind:

Write it down. Whatever it is. Write that shit down. An idea? A grocery item? A bill you have to pay?

Say it out loud. Tell someone your idea and see how they respond. Are they like, “OOOooooooooo” or “oh?”

Walk outside or on the treadmill. THIS IS KEY to moving stuck energy around. I do jumping jacks and jump up and down before I give a master class to hype myself up.

Take deep breaths before doing a Facebook Live. I do this to calm my nerves. Some days I don’t want to be seen, I want to hide in my house under the comfiest blanket ever, but I don’t. Wanting vs. doing = two very different things

Turn the music on. When you feel stuck or stagnant – pump that shit up and start a family dance party or even party of one.

I took meds for ADD for four years and it royally screwed me up. I cut out sugar, gluten and dairy a long time ago and it helped immensely. I drink green juices and smoothies for energy and clearing the foggy head. I love basil and herbs and use them to heighten the taste of food – and they are epstein barr killers (I have it) so I use natural herbs to kill the pathogens.

I stay away from caffeine. It makes me panicky and sweaty.

I drink tons of water.

But these things don’t work for everybody. I developed a blueprint for my diagnosis and help other female biz owners do the same with their diagnosis.

Schedule your breakthrough call, so you can stop guessing your protocol. Talk to an expert. Someone who’s been in your shoes and knows how to get you from point A to point B without 15 detours.

The story I never wanted to tell

It’s so hard to write this and I took a lot of deep breaths before I started typing.

But, I’m a big believer in the notion that, “secrets keep you sick.”

Before I begin, I’ve realized the more I evolve in my business, the deeper I have to go within myself.

I’m coming face to face with my own barriers and fighting my way through old stories that aren’t true. The stories I told myself as a teenager and twenty something. The stories about how I’m not good enough, that I don’t know enough and that I’m not smart enough to do what I’m doing. Bullshit.

In fact, I’m really comfortable leading my private coaching program and have had a steady list of clients for the past 3 years, but if you know me at all, you know I don’t like to stay comfortable. That along with a year of creating a program I’d want to sign up for myself, the Break Free Mastermind was born. It’s time to get uncomfortable again. Everything is changing fast. But also slow. Prep time, then go time.

I’m ready to share my story with you.

Here goes nothing…

There I was, in the middle of the dance floor in Vietnam when I saw him.

He was average height, muscular, had brown hair and big brown eyes.

He was laughing.

He was the first guy I found attractive in months.

It wasn’t just his outer appearance, but his smile…his silly dance moves.

He did not care if he was cool, which made him more appealing.

I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “you’re the man I’m going to marry.

I was a wild woman.

Confident.

Bold.

Daring.

Didn’t give a you know what.

He liked it.

He turned around, locked eyes with me and said slyly, “oh, really?

I was a few Chang’s deep (asian beer) and something about him reminded me of home.

A few weeks later, we messaged on Facebook and found out we were both in Cambodia, staying a few miles away from each other.

We made plans to meet up later that night.

Around 10:00pm, I got on the back of a motorbike and rode to his hostel.

I whispered his name in the pitch black room until he said, “I’m right here, J.

I crept under the mosquito net above his bed and we made out all night long.

I snuck out after he fell asleep and walked back to the place I was staying with girlfriends.

I walked back smiling.

THIS WAS LIVING.

I was 24 years old, wrapped up in a wild romance in a foreign country with a man I didn’t know well.

IT WAS THRILLING.

Over the next few weeks, we met up when we could, but he was always a country or city ahead of me. We planned to spend the last two weeks of traveling together, cozied up in the Southern part of Thailand.

We stayed in one of the most beautiful resorts, walking hand in hand to the pool, the beach, our bungalow, the restaurant, it was magical.

But I couldn’t ignore the feeling that something was off.

This is the part I’m not supposed to tell you.

While I was spending this wonderfully romantic island trip with this newfound crush, I was sneaking away to call my ex-boyfriend to tell him I loved and missed him.

It was true.

I did.

But it wasn’t right.

I knew it and couldn’t stop it.

My ex was my soft spot. The safe place I turned to when I felt smothered by new guys.

I really liked the new guy, but I wasn’t ready for an actual nice man to like me. I needed some mystery. He was so much fun, hilarious, kind, but too much, too soon.

We ended our romantic rendezvous with plans to visit each other when I came home to Seattle and he went back to Canada.

Except, the moment I touched down in Seattle, I knew the place I’d go after my parents house, it was my ex- boyfriends.

He was my anchor to the old me. The one I wasn’t ready to let go of yet.

My ex and I got back together, had a few goodish years and broke up for the last time over Thanksgiving of 2011.

Not even three months after the official break up, I decided to visit this Canadian man to see if what we experienced was still there, assuming he was single too. He was.

So I booked a ticket and off I went!

Looking back, I was like a lost little puppy hoping someone would direct me to the right place.

I was SO OUT OF PLACE.

It was too soon after the break up.

I was not myself. Shy. Reserved. I was so different than this amazingly wild, do anything for the moment woman he had met in Asia.

I didn’t know how to stand my ground.

I didn’t even know what or who I wanted.

“No, I don’t really want to drink all night with you and your friends.”

Whenever this Canadian man asked me what I wanted to do, I answered like a damsel in distress.

“Whatever you want to do.”

I was so uncomfortable. It was like a robot had taken over my body and plastered a smile on my face.

The 5 day trip with him and what happened is not the point at all, so I won’t get into details, but I will say that I found out a month after returning home that he was expecting a baby with another woman.

So, seems we both weren’t as honest as we could’ve been.

The real story takes place after I got home from visiting him.

It was one of the worst feelings I can remember.

I arrived home to an empty place.

I was already feeling so alone.

Lonely.

Confused.

Sad.

No, depressed.

Severely depressed.

I was still mourning the end of my 8 year on and off relationship with a man I actually thought I’d marry one day.

I felt so raw, vulnerable, cut to the core.

Worthless.

So, I coped the only way I knew how.

With food.

I found cookie dough.

I unpeeled the wrapper and shoved the dough in my mouth.

I ate until I felt sick, until I couldn’t manage another bite.

I ran to the bathroom to get rid of it.

I stuck my fingers down my throat.

It was violent.

I barely had to do anything, before everything came flushing out in the toilet.

I was trying to get rid of everything, not just the food, but the feelings of worthlessness, depression, confusion, what the fuck just happened, why did I go visit a guy I barely knew? What the hell am I doing? Who am I? What happened to me? Why am I throwing up all the time? Why do I immediately go to food when I can’t handle how I’m feeling?

I threw up until I cried. Until I was totally empty.

There was nothing left.

You would’ve NEVER guessed this was happening, because I was a master of the masked life.

SMILE and pretend everything is okay.

Pretend that you didn’t just puke everything up because you feel so worthless.

I was so alone.

Crying so hard.

Head on the toilet.

I’d been in this position before.

The binge and puke.

For 10 years to be exact.

And no one knew.

It was the only way I knew how to cope.

I washed my hands and slowly looked up.

I took a good look at how puffy my face was and noticed how sad I looked.

It was in that moment I knew I could not continue down this path.

I needed help.

It was the last time I ever pushed my feelings down.