Things I wish I knew as a first time mother

My friend recently had a baby and I was immediately flooded with memories of childbirth.

26. Hours. Of. Trying.

I had a protein bar before I was induced, not knowing that it would be my last “meal” for 26 hours. That’s one thing NO ONE told me about…eat as much as possible before getting induced or arriving to the hospital.

I WAS STARVING and after a certain amount of time I wasn’t aloud to drink any water.

So hydrate and eat and you’ll be ahead of the game.

If I could go back in time (I know it might not have changed anything) I would’ve walked every day for 30 minutes up until I was induced. It was winter. I was tired. After I was 6/7 months I really slowed down. Bode man was running out of space in my belly.

BUT looking back, I would’ve put a treadmill in the garage with my favorite Gilmore Girls episode and walked until that baby came out. Do whatever you can so you don’t have to get induced. Instead of gradual contraction pain, induction takes you from 0-100 real quick. Ouch. Gremlins gripping your ovaries kind of pain.

I would’ve had tons and tons of delicious, soothing soups in the freezer because that’s all I wanted.

I make a mean butternut squash soup and that would’ve been perfect. Instead we frequented the local Mexican restaurant for fajitas more than I’d like to admit.

I swore off pain pills after the c-section but after 5 days the pain was unbearable and I caved. But something was wrong. Every time I almost fell asleep intuition me told me to stay awake.

Months later I was getting a genetic test and they said the pain pills I was taking would’ve killed me if I kept taking them. They didn’t mix well with my blood type.

Gut intuition. Trust it.

DO YOUR RESEARCH.

C-SECTION MAMA’S – PAY ATTENTION!

When they say, don’t take the stairs…DO NOT TAKE THE STAIRS. I was like, the rules don’t apply to me and I took the stairs. BIG MISTAKE. Set me back weeks, if not months.

DO NOT WORK THE FIRST MONTH after having a baby. I had two programs running and I worked while Bode slept next to me.

I didn’t take naps. I didn’t sleep. I worked.

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? Oh ya, I wasn’t. I was in postnatal confusion.

“keep working, you’re an entrepreneur and you don’t have time to take time off.”

I didn’t set myself up to make residual income. I had some scrilla saved, but not enough to feel comfortable, so I worked and worked and worked until I crashed.

The most annoying things you will hear after having a baby:

“Take as much time as you can off, he’ll never be this small or precious again.” You think: “What am I a millionaire?”

“Sleep when the baby sleeps.” The next person who says this…

“It goes by so fast, enjoy every second.” They obviously don’t remember every moment.

“Do you need anything?” Your response, “oh, no, just bring yourself!” But on the inside: “Let me shower, bring the best food you can whip up and stop at a coffee shop for my fave coffee.”

“You look great!” as you’re wearing your gigantic mesh diaper and robe.

“Do you want a foot massage?” You answer, “I’m okay but thank you!” In your head you’re like, why are you asking me OF COURSE I WANT A FOOT MASSAGE, A NAP AND A NECK RUB!

QUESTIONS YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER:

“Are you going to vaccinate?”

“Is your child vegan?”

“How long are you going to breastfeed?”

“How are your nipples?”

“Did you tear?”

OUTFITS YOU ARE ALOUD TO WEAR:

Robe.

Robe.

Robe.

TEXTS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER:

None.

The only thing I’ll advise you to do is to clear your photo album to make room for the 100’s of pictures you’ll be taking over the next 18 years.

I lasted in corporate America for 14 months

 

 

 

 

 

I find myself craving stability.

Desiring a community of people who ask me how my day is going and if I finished creating images for the next opt – in freebie.

I spent a total of 14 months in corporate America, receiving a paycheck every two weeks with full benefits and a 401K.

I had work friends who went out to happy hour, but I ALWAYS felt like the odd duck. I’d accept the invite, but always left early or made excuses as to why I wasn’t eating the nacho’s or buffalo wings.

The truth is: I didn’t want to eat unhealthy food.

The “up for anything girl” wasn’t there anymore.

When I realized I would never fit into the societal norm of having a 9-5 I grew scared of what people would think of me.

It was so hard to think about disappointing my traditional father who worked in the same industry and only two different companies for 40 years. Whenever I got a new job he always asked about benefits and 401K.

But when I gave Fearful to Fit 100%  commitment, my Dad said, “You’ve never fit into a corporate job and I can’t picture you doing anything else. And that’s so cool you have no overhead.”

Go figure.

I spent so much time worrying about not being the daughter I thought my parents wanted me to be, that I wasted time in jobs I hated.

Little did they know that their middle child would be a yoga teacher, interested in crystals and intuitive healing.

I surprised myself.

A teacher told me in high school to stop raising my hand because it was obvious I wouldn’t know the answer.

I was the girl guys harassed because of my womanly figure.

The girl who battled an eating disorder for a decade.

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

I never thought I’d be creating, planning, cooking, teaching and leading sold out retreats. Seriously #wtf

I continue this crazy up and down rollercoaster of entrepreneurship for women just like you, who think you can’t do it. For the women who think, “it’s too crazy of an idea to work for myself.” Every limiting belief you tell yourself, it’s just not true.

You think Beyonce ever said no at the beginning of her career?

In October, I’m leading my last women’s retreat for a while. Mama needs a break.

With Love, Hustle + Healing Vibes,

J Muenz

How I’m Dealing with Postpartum Anxiety

When I started having nightmares again, 16 months after having my baby boy, I didn’t even consider postpartum anxiety.

For 5 nights in a row I woke up in panic, my heart beating out of chest, dripping sweat.

I woke up to images of him burning alive, being taken from our home in the middle of the night, me being bit by a snake not being able to get to him.

I dreaded going to sleep (when I finally fell asleep) because of the anticipated nightmares coming my way.

It was 4am on the 5th night of not being able to sleep and I started googling.

The way I woke up felt like panic attacks in my sleep and I knew that something was wrong.

I started feeling delirious and angry and ate my way through the day, filling my belly with carbs. It was the only thing that made me feel comforted, how a lot of my clients feel before we started working together.

People say googling symptoms is never a good idea, but it helped me tremendously. I read posts from other moms talking about the crippling fear that their kid is going to die. One Mom wrote about checking that the front door was locked 100’s of times before going to bed. Another said she checked on her kid every night to make sure he was breathing. They were talking about me.

I thought these were normal mom moves. The lock checking. The fear that the baby would die. The breath checks. I thought this was all normal until I started talking to other Mom’s who looked at me like I was wearing a chicken head.

I’m not going to sit here and write that I’m 100% fixed and never have a nightmare, but I am telling you what has eased some fears.

  • Writing about it – like right now, or using my journal as a punching bag.
  • Sharing with my husband, (not sure if this really helped, but at least he knew why I was so moody).
  • Exercising – this always helps me feel strong which relives fear.
  • Drinking enough water so I’m not waking up dripping sweat AND with dry mouth.
  • Talking about it with other Mom friends (some have experienced the same fears) WE ARE NOT ALONE!

You are not alone if you are experiencing this. I don’t know if more c-section mama’s have it than “normal” deliveries, but I have read that because they were ripped out of us, it brings fear that they’ll be ripped away.

I’m with you Mama.